Don't Want to be Daddy

“How about you be the kid today and I be the Dad?”  Asked our son Seth one day a few years ago.  You see he had determined that he had had enough of all my rules.  This idea that I would require him to do such awful things as bathe, brush his teeth, not have candy for dinner and not aggravate his sister was just too much from his point of view.  He thought I might see things better from his perspective if we could switch roles for even one day. 

Well, I agreed to his proposal (I tell you sometimes as a parent I feel like it would be easier to negotiate with a terrorist than a child).  “OK, Seth,” I said, “I will be the kid and you will be the Dad the rest of the night.” 

He smiled.  I had played right into his manipulative little hands.  O, yes…now he would show me what it is like to live under the rule of tyranny. 

I quickly turned into a 4 year old, which according to Kimberly, was a little too easily done.  At first he thought it was funny.  He bossed me around and made me do some ridiculous things and I responded ridiculously making the “game” all the more delightful.  But when it came to bed time, he suddenly did not like the game.  You see, he enjoyed our bed time routine of stories, laughing, singing and prayer.  But “I was not the Daddy now…I was the child and I needed someone to put me to bed…kids, like me, did not put adults, like him to bed,” I explained. 

“Daddy,” he said, “I don’t want to be the Daddy any more.  I want to be the kid.  I will do what you say.”

Well, of course, that would not be the end of Seth’s attempts to overthrow parental control, but for that one moment he seemed to get that submission is not just about what you lose but also about what you gain.  And, as you know, that is not only true for four year old boys, but also for the sons and daughters of God no matter what our age.  Submission to the Father is not only about loss but gain.  I believe that is one of the many meaningful themes of this time of the church calendar.

Today many of our brothers and sisters in Christ, including me, will pause to reflect on the meaning of Ash Wednesday which begins the Lenten season (Lenten is an old English word for Lengthen which points to the lengthening of the days this time of year).  This Christian tradition was developed to encourage the Christ follower to walk more deliberately in remembrance of Christ’s cross that we might more fully have eyes to see the full hope of the resurrection.  Many of us will voluntarily choose to give something up this season.  The spiritual discipline of fasting is always a meaningful way of allowing our cravings to turn our hearts, minds and bodies upward, but it seems especially appropriate during the season of Lent

The path to the cross ought to not ever become unfamiliar to the Christ-follower.  It is in Jesus’ submission to the Father’s will for him to suffer and die on the cross that has made possible our reconciliation both to God and one another.  It is spiritually healthy for us to look upon his suffering not in a morbid way but so that we might see more clearly how great is his love for us which he demonstrated even while we were yet sinners. 

Furthermore, in a culture in which we are bred to believe we have a “right to demand our rights” which, frankly, goes way beyond the “certain inalienable rights” our forefather’s had in mind, a season of submission may not only be spiritually healthy, but critical.   The examples of demanding rights go from the serious to the absurd.  It’s pretty serious when people think they have a right to take life simply because “I wanted sex but not a baby” or because a “person’s life is no longer determined to be of sufficient quality”.  And on the other hand, it is pretty absurd to think that every person has a right to own a home or a new car or the internet, which has been advocated in recent years.  And there is no way that we can live in such a “rights driven” culture and not be influenced by the same.  We are not only influenced by it, but we drag it to worship with us.  While Jesus is calling his body to deny self and take up the cross we are fighting about what we want, like and prefer as if it were our right to have it.  And while we are fighting for our rights in the church and in the world, lost people are hurting, broken and dying both in body and spirit.

But it is in the dark that even a single candle shines most brightly.  Each year the Church lights the candle called Lent and invites us to voluntarily give up our rights.  Lent invites us to choose the path of submission in an intentional way not as a matter of paying penance, but as a tangible practice of turning one’s heart and mind to the reality that just as Jesus gave his all for us, when we come to Jesus we give up all our rights to him.  It is painful no doubt.  The human will certainly convulses in the throes of self-denial.  But as the flesh gives way to the spirit, the dust settles and we see that with Jesus loss is never only loss, but always also gain. 

So, as my son said to me, I pray God will help me to say to him in an even more real way this season, “Daddy…I don’t want to be the Daddy any more.  I want to be the kid.  I will do what you say.”