Thanksliving

I could hear him screaming.  I had hoped it was not him.  But when I walked up to his room there was no denying it.

“Grandpa, it’s OK…Grandpa, it’s me, Chad…your Grandson...”

He swung at me at first.  I grabbed his hand.

“Grandpa, it’s OK…I love you.  It’s me.”

He started to cry.  His mind was confused and he was often afraid in the nursing home. I held his hand.

“How about we get you shaved?” 

Out of the bed.  Into the wheelchair.  He loved to be shaved.  My Grandpa was always clean cut and well-kept.  He never had much money, but he certainly had class and style. 

“How about we take a walk down the hall and see what’s happening around here?” 

“Ok…if you want…” He’d say.

We would go to the common area and I would talk and hope that may be he would have at least something of a conversation.  But after a while, I’d quit trying and we’d just sit.  It seemed like that was enough for him at that point—just to have someone there that he knew he should know. 

While we would sit there I would notice another man.  I would notice that he never had anyone visiting him.  I asked about him.  I learned that it was true.  No one ever came to visit him.  I learned that he was not alone.  There were others who were at their end and all alone.  The only visitors they had were those the nursing home paid to visit them in order to meet the states requirement. 

You might ask, “Why such a depressing post the week of Thanksgiving?!”  I guess it is only depressing if thanksgiving is all about eating a meal and sharing with family that for which you are thankful.  In that case, this is depressing.  But if thanksgiving is about THANKSLIVING, then this post is very encouraging! It serves as fodder for the Holy Spirit to inspire you and me to find someone this week who feels alone and forgotten.  It gives us permission to walk down the hallway and remind someone who feels like no one cares that Jesus cares and so do we.  It serves as a catalyst for remembering that God gives us the opportunity every day to become his reason that some else can say, “Thank you, God!” This story is just one example of 100’s we walk past every day who are in desperate need for you and me to live out our thanks so that they can again find reason to give thanks!

More specifically, this story reminds me of why the all-church Christmas party this year is so important.  This year, instead of focusing on entertaining ourselves, we will focus on visiting all of the shut-ins of our church family.  Just imagine what kind of thanks may be lifted up to God if all of us together said we will set aside an extra hour on Sunday, December 7, just to let someone know they are not forgotten?

Have any Enemies?

Yesterday, I was visiting with someone in the hospital.  As I was listening, the individual suddenly said, “You know, I have enemies.”  I replied, “You do?”  

Then the person went on to share some stories of how without any intention to hurt, something that was said was taken the wrong way by someone the person was very close to and despite many apologies and attempts to reconcile, it would seem they would never again be anything more than an enemy. 

Then the person looked at me and asked, “Do you have any enemies?”

“O, yes,” I said, “I have my share of enemies.” 

“Really?” the person asked.  “That makes me feel better.  I thought I was the only one.” 

I said, “It would seem we are in good company because even Jesus had enemies.”

John Wesley was known to ask his itinerant preachers two questions at their “annual review.”  He would ask: 1) How many people experienced salvation under your ministry?  2) How many people were offended by the gospel under your preaching?  It was said that if you did not give account to both questions, then he would relieve you of your duty.  He believed that the gospel of Christ leaves no room for indifference and that if it is truly being preached then people should either be drawn to Christ or made mad at the preacher (though the truth was, he would argue, their anger was grossly misdirected). 

Several years ago, I had to wrestle with what I would do with the reality that living for Jesus means I will have enemies both in and outside the church family.  Over the years and even now, I find Jesus instruction both helpful and convicting on this subject.

First, I am reminded that Jesus said, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44).  It is very easy to allow hurt and bitterness to take root in the presence of an enemy.  But Jesus sees an enemy as an opportunity for love rather than an obstacle.

Next, I am reminded that an enemy is a blessing from God.  “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.  Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you” (Matthew 5:11-12).  As I hear some Christians in the USA call for us to rally to “defend our religious rights”, I wonder what they do with these words of Jesus?  Of course, more a more important question is what do you and I do with these words when they are not just words but reality?

Then I am reminded to take a good look in the mirror.  “Do not judge or you too will be judged.  For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you” (Mathew 7:1-2).  I don’t know about you, but it is easy for me to see myself above my enemy, but Jesus has a way of reminding us that at the foot of the cross we all stand as equals. 

Of course, I am also reminded to do my best to reach reconciliation with my enemy.  If someone has knowingly or unknowingly wronged me it is not their job to make it right, but mine.  Matthew 18:15-20 spells it out very plainly.  Could our refusal to do this be one of the greatest sins of the church today including ours?

Finally, and, of course, there are many more that prove to be helpful and convicting to me, but for now it seems a good place to stop is at Romans 12:18, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”  Sometimes you can do all that you can do on your side to turn an enemy to a friend and they will chose to remain an enemy.  At times like that, those words from Romans are very encouraging.

So, as my friend in the hospital asked me, I now ask you, “Do you have any enemies?”

Good Grief

     

The hospital hallway was dark and quiet.  It was the middle of the night, when our family was called and told to come quickly.  Our favorite Great Aunt, Marcella, on my Mom’s side had experienced a massive heart attack.  By the time the family arrived, she was already gone.  It was Thanksgiving.

Two weeks later, we received another call.  We arrived at the house just as the ambulance was pulling away.  I will never forget my mom, crying in the van, “NOOOOO…please God, NOOOO!”  Her Mom (the sister of my great Aunt) had a massive heart attack and by the time we arrived at the hospital only machines were keeping her alive.

That Christmas we went through the motions of our family traditions and we celebrated Christ’s coming, but we did so in the fog of grief.   What normally would have made us laugh together, made us cry together.  At family gatherings we all wanted to be together and we all tried to make the most of it, but it was so hard.  Grief is a force to be reckoned with for sure.  It engulfs like a cloud and distorts one’s perspective.  It puts its heels in the ground and urges one to stay put; to refuse accept the reality of the loss. It can seem as though it will never end and if grief has its way it won’t.  Certainly that is what the enemy wants.  He wants our grief to be permanent and even eternal. 

However, wherever God is so is his goodness.  His goodness has the power to change grief from being final to becoming a process.  In fact, those who do grief counseling explain that there are typically five stages of grief:  1) Denial, 2) Anger, 3) Bargaining, 4) Depression and 5) Acceptance.  The final stage is when grief becomes good.  Not that grief is good, but that the process of grief has gone from that which will be the end of a person to that which allows the person to have a new beginning. 

I would suspect that by this time in the refocus process, there are some who are feeling like they have just lost their best friend.  In some respects, it may actually make more sense to lose a friend than experience grief because of changes that are occurring in our church family.  If you lost a friend, you could go the funeral, see the dead body and begin the grief process because you know you are grieving.  However, in the case of a refocus the feelings of grief are real but there is no dead body to see in a casket.  Nevertheless, loss is loss and that means grief is grief. 

Today, I want to acknowledge and give you permission to grieve.  Yes, new people are accepting Christ and becoming a part of our church family, we have a growing influence in our community through Belle Stone, NextGen Basketball and Sahara, we have a children’s ministry that is flourishing both in new children and new servants, we have an leaders who are being equipped, we are becoming increasingly focused on our mission and vision, people are connecting and growing and on and on we could rejoice in what god is doing among us.  But if you are grieving the loss of something like the choir or what Wednesday nights use to be like or some other program that once meant so much to you, it is hard to see anything but the cloud of grief.  The enemy wants you to believe the end you have experienced is the end.  The enemy wants your grief to defeat you.  But God comes offering good grief.  Don’t stop in denial, anger, bargaining or depression…walk through those stages…but do not let hell keep you from reaching acceptance.  That’s good grief!

To be honest, acceptance is something I have best been taught by my brothers and sisters in AA.  They have helped me to see that grief becomes good when we trust God enough to lead us to acceptance.  They call it the serenity prayer and it goes like this…

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right, if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. Amen.”

The Gift

Once upon a time there was a boy whose Father came home from a trip with a gift.  The boy’s eyes lit up as he imagined what might be inside.  The bright wrapping paper and the big box only encouraged his imagination.  But to the Father’s surprise, his son decided not to open the gift until the morning saying, “I just want to enjoy being excited about the gift a little longer.”  The Father said, “Suit yourself.  It is your gift.”  

The boy went to bed and could hardly sleep.  He was so excited for morning to come when he could open his surprise.  But when morning came, he thought to himself, “It is so fun being excited may be I will wait to open the gift once I return from school.”  All day he day dreamed about his gift.  It made a long, boring day at school pass much more quickly.  And perhaps that is why he decided to wait until the next morning to open his gift.  But, you guessed it, when morning came he decided to wait until after school. 

And so it went day after day.  Each day he promised himself he would open the gift the next day.  Until one day, he forgot.  Weeks, then months, then years went by and everyone once in a while he would think of the unwrapped gift with his name on it from his Father, but now he did not open it not because he enjoyed the excitement, but because it held no excitement for him at all. 

The boy grew up to become a man.  He moved out of the house.  One day the Father was cleaning out his son’s room, when he found the unwrapped gift.  He thought back to the business trip and how he had picked out the perfect gift for his boy; at least, for that time of his life.  “Well,” the Father thought, “I guess it is the thought that counts and he picked up the still wrapped gift to his son and threw it in the trash with other unwanted items of his son’s past life at home.” 

Whoever heard of a boy who won’t open a gift?  What’s wrong with that kid?  I am writing this story and even I want to know what was inside the gift.  “Open it for crying out loud!”  I want to shout to the son.  Why would you not receive what the Father gave you?  Why would you not at least open it up and see what it is?

I wonder if we can hear the heavenly Father asking the same questions of you and me as his children.  In John 16:33, Jesus says, “I have overcome the world.”  He does not say “I will” overcome…no he says, “I have overcome.”  I wonder if I am like the boy in the story in my relationship with Christ.  Am I waiting to open a gift from the Father that has already been delivered?  Am I praying for strength that he has already given?  Am I looking for peace that he has already purchased?  Am I longing for promises that he has already fulfilled?  Am I looking for him do to something that has already been done? 

Bless the Lord for he has already overcome!