Great Expectations

Last summer I got us a great deal! (Have I mentioned I might be a little cheap)?  If we would sit through a 90 minute time share presentation we would get a free 3 night stay in a resort, $200 in cash, dinner theater tickets and a discount on an amusement park. This part of the trip exceeded our expectations.  It was great! But that’s not all folks…yes, there is more (said with a game show host voice)! We also received another 3 night stay in another city.  The brochure for our second accommodations looked even better than the first.  There was only problem…the pictures from the brochure had to have been from when the place first opened 20 years ago.  Now the “resort” looked like it had not been maintained yet alone cleaned since they opened.  It was nasty!  We actually bought cleaning supplies just to disinfect the place before we brought in our suitcases.  We prayed to be protected from bedbugs or any other infectious disease that the EPA would someday shut the place down for in the near future.  The brochure set our expectations high and when the accommodations did not meet our expectations we were not happy.

Christian counselors Les and Leslie Parrott explain that unmet and unrealistic expectations in our relationships can be one of the number one relationship killers between a husband and wife, two friends, family members and even a church family.  When I expect one thing, but the other person, in reality, is less than I expect, then watch out relationship because troubled waters are coming your way!

I believe you could say that is why the very people who taught everyone else to long and look for God’s Messiah ended up killing Him.  The Jewish religious leaders new their Scripture inside and out.  They followed the letter of the law, but when Jesus came to preach good news to the poor, recover the sight of the blind, release the imprisoned and free the oppressed (Luke 4:18-19), instead of following him, they questioned him.  Instead of working with Jesus to let the lost be found, they accused him of being a drunk and a glutton because he too often hung out with Tax collectors, sinners and prostitutes.  When Jesus came declaring a law of love, they said he was blaspheming God’s law.  When Jesus said he came to bring life and life abundant, they decided that he must be killed.  When Jesus refused to overcome Rome by force, they nailed him to the cross.  Why?  In simplest terms it was because Jesus did not live up to their expectations.  They were expecting something different from the Messiah.

Think about that...Jesus did not live up to their expectations. I have a feeling they are not alone.  I have a feeling we could all look back on our lives and find a time when we did not think Jesus lived up to our expectations.  May be it was the time we prayed for God to heal our loved one and they died anyway.  May be it was the year we had more bills than money and even though we tithed, we still had to file for bankruptcy.  May be it was when we served our heart out but did not see any fruit?

When Jesus does not meet our expectations we will find ourselves facing the same decision the people of his day faced: Will we crucify him or will we let him change our expectations?  How do we do that?  I think we have to spend some time doing what his disciples could/would not do.  We have to go to the Garden with him and pray.  In that Garden right before Judas betrayed him, Jesus prayed, “Father, take this cup from me, but not my will, yours be done.”  Some say faith is believing God is going to do whatever you want and not backing down until he does.  What if that is not faith but presumption?  What if true faith is trusting God more than the answer we do or do not get?  What if true faith is trusting God so much that when our expectations for life go unmet we still expect that God knows what is best; that God will work all things together for good for those who love him and are called according to his purpose; that what the enemy would use to destroy us with God will use to bring us good?  Will we demand our way or will trust God to do what is best even if it is different than what we want and expect?  According to Jesus that is true faith. 

So, now, let me make this a little more personal so that I do not put you at risk with disappointing you with unmet expectations.  Last month the CFNAZ Church Board wrote, voted on and made available to you my job description as Lead Pastor.  In that process, I asked the committee appointed to work through this process what their expectations for my wife and children are.  I believe Bob Testa, Phil Berlean and Ben Holloway gave a very wise and biblical answer.  They said, “We expect of your family whatever you would expect of any family who has committed to CFNAZ as their church home.”

Therefore, let me state my expectations of those who are committed to CFNAZ: 1) Regularly participate in Sunday morning worship, 2) Choose one point of connection in which you will have face to face authentic accountability in growing in your relationship with Christ because the Bible teaches there is no real spiritual growth outside the context of community (e.g. Choose one of the following and regularly participate: Sunday School, Connection Group or a weekly Bible Study), 3) Find at least one ministry in the church in which you serve the Body of Christ—if every part of the Body is not doing its part then the whole body will suffer as the Bible says, 4) Make room in your schedule to find your mission in the world—in other words, what are you doing right now outside of the “Christian” circle in the “secular” world to bring the Light of Christ into the world? (For example, perhaps you are volunteering at a local public school or maybe you are dedicated to feeding the hungry of our community or perhaps God has called you to be a missionary at your teenagers sporting events or may be God has shown you a need to spend regular time getting to know one of your neighbors who does not yet know Christ or may be God has shown you the reason you have a passion for a particular hobby is so he can use you in that way to share his love with others while you share in that hobby with them.  The opportunities that God may give us as a mission are endless), 5) that you will grow in trusting God with your money. The Bible speaks to money more than any subject than love because we will either serve it or God and that can be a problem for both the rich and the poor.  So, my expectations for good churchmanship are simply put: corporate worship, connect for discipleship, serve in ministry, be a missionary in your world and trust God more than money. 

That being said, I will apply the same expectation to Kimberly and our children.  Therefore, you can expect my family in worship on Sunday, we will choose one connection group (for us, right now, this is Sunday school, Children’s Bible Quizzing, the Refocus Small Group I will be leading and a discipleship group I am a part of with two new believers), we will serve in ministry and we are filling out the application to volunteer at our children’s public school and next year I plan to help coach on the Upward basketball team that Seth will be on for the purpose of connecting with him and with lost families and we will give over 10% plus faith promise every pay check.

Last night the CFNAZ board supported the expectation I have placed on my family.  What do you think? For some of you the expectations I have set for you may be right on, disappointing or challenging.  For some of you the expectations I think are appropriate for my family may be right on, challenging or disappointing.  But the best way not to let our expectations hurt our relationships is to share them clearly so we can talk about them openly.  So, I invite you, if you have a question, concern or outright problem with what I have share to contact me so we can work through it.  In so doing no one will have to be crucified and we can all learn to trust God to exceed our expectations.  I love you and thank God for the way you encourage me to be open and honest and I hope you know  encourage you to do the same.